Honey or Homies ?

No gents, we are not asking who you would rather watch the Superbowl with and ladies, this is not about choosing the best person to enjoy a “Spa-day” with. This post is about romance, about honeymoons… Or at least what they have become.

Do you remember those cute scenes in those cute movies when cute newlyweds jumped in their cute ‘just married’ car and drove away? Well imagine their sisters , brothers and  best friends jumping in with  them, in a much bigger car of course, and you’ll get a picture of the matter we are to discuss here: buddymoons.

Ever heard about buddymooning? If not, don’t play down the magnitude of that trend, for it has become so big and relevant that, even major publications such as the NY Times paid it some attention. Basically, it’s about newlyweds spending their honeymoon with their friends and/or family members, with the additional guests paying their own way, so that no extra charges have to be supported by the ‘couple of the day’.

While some people find the idea of traveling on such an occasion with in-laws extremely weird, others argue those “special honeymoons” sometimes represent a very good opportunity to (re)connect with their (new) relatives and enjoy some real family  and quality time, which is not always possible in their stressful daily lives. Besides, very attractive package deals are available for small tourist groups, so there are incentives.

Sociologists explain the tendency by the fact that today, most couples already live together before the actual marriage, so the honeymoon getaway is hardly the biggest “episode” of their relationship.

However, the phenomenon remains relatively new and although most people who enjoyed a “buddymoon getaway” praise the intensity of their experience, a vast majority stay attached to the more traditional honeymoon retreat. And when lately, wedding blog “the knot” created a facebook poll on that matter, the results they obtained spoke for themselves: 240 people were totally against the new trend while 22 only, were willing to give it a try!

According to authors and marriage experts Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, Buddymooning is “NEVER a good idea”, for newlyweds need time to “consummate their newly formed relationship”. The Schmitzes, who’ve been married for 45 years, even argue with the fact that pre-marital cohabitation could have such a damaging impact on the “conventional honeymoon” concept and they affirm that “intimacy before marriage is not a new phenomenon. The difference is, those notions were not talked about publicly until the 1970 and beyond”.

Buddymooning is obviously on the rise, and more people will start opting for it and not only for pecuniary reasons. Like  Francez Curbelo who shared her own motivation during an interview with the NY Times: “When you invite people to your wedding, you want them to be witnesses. So when you invite them on your honeymoon, it’s the same thing: You want them to be witnesses to how great of a trip you had.”

Well, I personally think a marriage is between two people and the fact the beauty of your honeymoon spot leaves your friends breathless, won’t make your union last…  And it would seriously irritate and embarrass me if each time my husband and I needed some privacy (on OUR honeymoon), we had to ask for permission come up with silly excuses like: “We need to rest!” and endure our relatives eloquent stares and their “we know you are not going to sleep right away” look.

But hey, that’s just my opinion! What about you dear reader? Are you a firm partisan of the customary honeymoon vacation or would you buddymoon for a change? Please, let us know what you think !

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